Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
