I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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