I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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