i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
