sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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