I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
