How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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