dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
