So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
