I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
