nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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