I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
