Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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