maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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