yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
