You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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