As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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