I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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