can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
