We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
