Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
