Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
