Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
