i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
