I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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