never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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