I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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