I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
