I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
