Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
