i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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