; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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