I wish my penis had an off switch
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
