i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
