Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
