im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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