it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
