just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
