I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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