Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
