Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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