I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Your cock deserves a montage
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
