Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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