Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
