i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
