the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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