Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
