there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize