Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
