So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
